When people act in ways contradictory to their stated values and principles, it creates a trap. If we call attention to the contradiction, we risk conflict and uncomfortable exposure for the other person.
That can lead to another contradiction—we say we value openness and honesty, but tend to stay quiet about the problem in public and complain in private. Research from Argyris (2010) has found such self-contradictory behavior to be quite common even in successful organizations. This occurs with difficult situations, especially "when problems to be solved are likely to be upsetting and threatening to all concerned." Traps impair collaboration and problem solving.
Four methods to decrease risk in addressing the trap: (1) treat imperfect adherence to stated values as an expected, normal human reaction to complexity and pressure; (2) explicitly state a desire for and pursue mutual reflection and inquiry; (3) self disclose about our own uneasiness and contradictions; and (4) appreciate the other’s good intentions. For an excellent brief review of the work of Argyris, see Senge, The Fifth Discipline, pages 232 – 240.
That can lead to another contradiction—we say we value openness and honesty, but tend to stay quiet about the problem in public and complain in private. Research from Argyris (2010) has found such self-contradictory behavior to be quite common even in successful organizations. This occurs with difficult situations, especially "when problems to be solved are likely to be upsetting and threatening to all concerned." Traps impair collaboration and problem solving.
Four methods to decrease risk in addressing the trap: (1) treat imperfect adherence to stated values as an expected, normal human reaction to complexity and pressure; (2) explicitly state a desire for and pursue mutual reflection and inquiry; (3) self disclose about our own uneasiness and contradictions; and (4) appreciate the other’s good intentions. For an excellent brief review of the work of Argyris, see Senge, The Fifth Discipline, pages 232 – 240.